Never date someone who expects you to put in all of the effort. You shouldn’t be the person running around, planning dates and initiating texts and struggling to find me time, while your person takes whatever you give without offering a single thing in return. Your relationship should not be one-sided, because you will burn yourself out.
Never date someone who puts more effort into the relationship either. You don’t want to be the one who loves less, the one who takes your person for granted. You don’t want to become spoiled and stop carrying your weight because you are dating someone who would never leave you, not even if you neglected them. You don’t want to turn into the kind of person you have always tried to keep away from.
Date someone who loves you as much as you love them. Someone who will put in as much effort as you do.
You should take turns initiating sex and going grocery shopping and washing the dishes. One person should not be in charge of every household chore. You should split responsibilities down the middle, as evenly as you can, so no one feels like they are getting ripped off.
You are supposed to take care of your person and they are supposed to take care of you. When one of you gets sick, the other one should warm up soup and search for the thermometer. When one of you has a rough day, the other one should offer to buy ice cream and give a massage.
Whatever you expect your person to do for you, you should also strive to do for your person.
Your relationship is never going to last if you are a hypocrite. You cannot expect your person to come home on time every night and put dirty clothes in the hamper when you fail to do the same. That would be unfair. That would not make any sense.
You have to give what you want to get. You have to keep the playing field even.
Of course, there will be days when you come home stressed and your person offers to do your chores for the day so you have the chance to relax. Just like there will be days when your person falls asleep early and you go the extra mile so they do not have work to finish when they wake up.
You do not have to keep things 50/50 all the time. That is impossible. Besides, keeping score will do your relationship more harm than good. You don’t want to keep track of every nice thing you have done for your person because you feel like you are owed something in return. You should be doing nice things because you love them, not because you are hoping they will repay you.
As long as you are both trying, as long as you are both doing your best, as long as you are both putting in effort to keep your relationship strong, then you have what it takes to last.
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